PHOEBE DAHL

UK/US/KENYA

'The School of Unlearning: Lesson 1 in partnership with my friends at @foriawellness. They are discussing a very interesting topic of lessons unlearned around sex and relationships. This is a very important topic for women today - to reflect on what we have been conditioned to think and feel about our bodies and our hearts. It was hard to choose one specific lesson, as there are so many important lessons to unlearn but here is my most prevalent.

My biggest lesson that I have had to unlearn is that you don’t have to get married, have children and buy a house to find fulfillment in life. As a girl - now a woman, we are conditioned from a young age, with influence of generations before us, that happiness and success is defined by getting married and having children. I have to constantly remind myself that it's ok if that’s not for me and to not feel shame about it and to acknowledge that there are many ways of being in relationships in life, it's not one size fits all.  At 31 years old, this pressure is real as I watch all my friends slowly start to settle down and have children, feelings come up of  feeling like i'm “behind”. As beautiful as it is to see my peers blossom into parents, I am not entirely sure that that’s what I want. I don’t know for sure yet, anything could change, but the real “unlearning” work  is in the acceptance of it being ok NOT to conform to these social norms, out of pressure, but being able to make a choice that works for YOU and meeting yourself with love and compassion for doing something against the grain. 🤍 100% of net proceeds of the T-shirt will be donated to the Audre Lorde Project & the LA LGBT Center 🤍
#foria #PlantLoveWithin #foriapartner


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British-American fashion designer Phoebe Dahl's story first appeared in her Instagram post of June, 2020: https://www.instagram.com/p/CBy2LiFAFJ-/?hl=en.   She currently lives in East Africa. 

PHOEBE DAHL